Contenders ready… my journey to becoming a Gladiator contender for 2027.

Wildly ambitious and completely unrealistic, but I am a big fan of a big goal. I turn 40 in four days, so there is a good chance I’m on the brink of a midlife crisis; however, nothing bad can come from this goal (apart from an injury). I’ll get fitter, learn new skills, and may even get over my fear of posting on social media.

Like every other 40-year-old, I watched the original Gladiators when I was a kid. I’d imagine being a contender and genuinely believe I could do it. The Travelator was no match for me. I’ve seen myself swing over the finish line countless times.

Obviously, as I’ve got older, I’ve realised how incredibly hard it would be to get on the show, not least because they ask applicants to be “in peak physical condition, and possess exceptional speed and strength”, but you also need to be camera-ready, have a great backstory, and stand out as one of the top 20 applicants from thousands.

My best chance of getting on the show is to make public my ambitions, tell everyone what I am doing so I don’t give up.

ChatGPT and I have brainstormed a year-long workout programme. It’s monstrous and requires a lot of new skills, such as rock climbing, wrestling, possibly parkour, as well as working on my strength, agility, stamina, and GRIP STRENGTH. ChatGPT was very adamant I needed to microdose grip exercises… which seemed like a strange way to say “practice daily”.

So here goes. This is the first place I am announcing this, other than in my kitchen to my children. I may or may not post on Instagram, let’s see if I am brave enough. Luckily, this website has literally no traffic, so it doesn’t feel too scary.